Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize