i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Randomize
