I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
