now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
they're like a gay fantastic four
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
