I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
