If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
