how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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