can u get pink eye on your cock?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
