Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Im part way to drunk.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
