3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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