Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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