Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
