The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
The beer is more important than you right now.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
