I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
