There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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