I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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