Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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