Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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