just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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