He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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