batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
