I looked at my own cervix.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
