Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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