He disabled his match.com account in front of me
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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