my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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