someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
