yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Drake has all the answers
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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