If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
