I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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