If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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