Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
