oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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