Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize