That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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