Your tits are I can't wait for
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
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