Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
