I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
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