im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I could fuck to npr.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
