My nipple is on Facebook.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize