I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
