just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
