The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He has the fingertips of a God
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