lets start a swedish sibling band together
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
