I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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