You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
