apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize