she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
