The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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