The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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