had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize