had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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