big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize