dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
well you can't waste a boner
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize