YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
