Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
