idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
