a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
