she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
