Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Of course I have a pirate flag
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
