so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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