She just used a chaser for red wine.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
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