walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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